“Life is so simple
A little boy, a little girl
Laughing and loving
Tryin' to figure out the world
It felt like summer when I kissed you in the rain
And I know your story but tell me again”
Our Original Child* knows, life is simple. A little boy meets a little girls and a sudden, unspoken truth pervades every cell in their being, every corner of their existence.
They laugh, they love and together venture into the big, wide world to figure it out.
There are challenges at every corner, the boy and the girl are sometimes scared, but comforted by the blanket of their child-like innocence, they face the mighty challenges with a sense of wonder and adventure.
There can be storms, but they cannot stop their love, it still feels like summer… and together they venture to discover their place in the world.
“Nothing you say wouldn't interest me
All of your words are like poems to me
I would be honoured if you would take me as I am”
They whole heartedly occupy each other’s worlds. Every word a magical fable. Such an honour to be in each other’s presence. Such an honour to be accepted for who we are, human, imperfect, incomplete.
“I want you
To look right in my eyes
To tell me you love me
To be by my side
I want you
At the end of my life
Wanna see your face
When I fall with grace
At the moment I die
Is that alright?
Is that alright?”
They want each other on the journey of life, from today until the last tomorrow. They feel the connection, they can imagine that final moment, that final goodbye, that final breath, “you and I. Your eyes locked into mine, telling me you love me as I fall with grace and say my final goodbye”.
Life is so simple my friends. It is, but then it all changes.
It suddenly becomes unexplainably more complicated.
“I hope you’re still with me
When I’m not quite myself
And I pray that you’ll lift me
When you know I need help
It’s a warm celebration of all of our years
I dream of our story of our fairytale”
We know things can get tough and complicated, and we secretly, deeply hope our partner will be there to lift us when we need them, a testament to the life shared and the dreams manifested into reality.
“Family dinners and family trees
Teachin' the kids to say thank you and please
Knowing if we stay together that things will be right”
So simple in our hearts! We know it, we feel it! We visualise the family dinners and family trees, teaching the kids to say 'thank you' and 'please', knowing that, no matter what, life will be ok if we stay together.
But is it all right? Is it really all right to place such a monumental request on our loved one?
We doubt ourselves, we wonder if it really is ok to ask to be loved, seen, heard and accepted, just the way we are.
We seek to make adjustments, we start to measure our words, our emotions are exchanged in return for our needs being met or ignored.
The connection we once shared and felt so deep, so certain, slowly escaping our grip and fuelling our fear that it will all be lost, all gone.
When we are not careful, we can lose the most precious treasures we uncover on this beautiful life journey.
Our loved ones can choose to leave the life they so desperately yearned to fulfil. Our children fly the nest. And when it’s gone, we realise the value of every moment we shared: the first steps, the first kiss, the time they say “mama”, “dada”, becoming parent, the first toothless smile, the cheerful kiss at the door when we come back home... Even the tantrum and the arguments seem music to our hearts, now that the deafening silence of the house reminds us of them.
Only once we lose them do we realise the magnitude of their presence. It is in these moments that we finally understand that our expectations for a life designed exactly the way we want it, with all our needs met, actually clouded the innocent love that first brought us together.
And so my friends, treasure the small moments. Celebrate the opportunity to hear your child’s complaints. Cherish your partner’s presence and love. They are gone, when they are gone.
We dedicate a large part of our Relate With Love retreat to rediscovering and strengthening the treasures in our relationships. Join us in Italy on 27 September 2024 to rekindle your intimacy and your passion. You can read more details below and via our website link.
Wishing you well,
Oberdan
P.S To learn more about the 'Original Child concept which we use in our retreats, read here: Three Little Children.
Dr OM opened in Singapore 2015 to serve the local community on all their relationship and sexuality challenges.